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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29349552">Dreams of Cliffside Torture</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlilacs/pseuds/lavenderlilacs'>lavenderlilacs</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stardew Valley (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Nightmares, POV Third Person, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, farmer just really needs a hug, no one dies, not graphic, the attempt happens in a dream</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:47:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,755</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29349552</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlilacs/pseuds/lavenderlilacs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Quinn absolutely adored her husband. She wouldn't trade everything they've been through together for the world. Seeing how far Shane had come with his mental health made her heart swell. She was so proud of him. However, sometimes she just had nights where she got too in her own head. Tonight, her concerns created a nightmare.</p>
<p>aka, farmer has a nightmare about shane attempting (referencing his six heart event).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Shane &amp; Female Player (Stardew Valley), Shane (Stardew Valley)/Original Character(s), Shane (Stardew Valley)/Original Female Character(s), Shane/Female Player (Stardew Valley), Shane/Player (Stardew Valley)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dreams of Cliffside Torture</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hii!! this is my first stardew valley fic omg :0 i hope you guys enjoy this. please please make sure you're aware of the tags!! the last thing i want to do is trigger anyone &lt;:( </p>
<p>i own nothing from stardew valley except my own original character!! &lt;33</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Quinn knew this area like the back of her hand. She often passed through this way on her walks. She didn't come by every single day, but more often than not she found herself by the cliffs. Not for any particular reason, she just enjoyed being able to sit and take in the view. Not a lot of people came down this way, so it was always nice if she needed a break from working or just generally socializing.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Sitting on the edge and just swinging her feet always felt a little dangerous, but she didn't mind a little bit of an adrenaline rush! Besides, she knew that the land was sturdy. It was unlikely that it would crumble beneath her sitting weight.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Tonight, however, she couldn't recall how she got to the cliffs. Quinn was sure she was just at her house moments ago, feeding her cows, and it had been a sunny afternoon. Winifred and Mika were still babies after all! They needed their strength and sunshine to grow into big, strong girls. Yet somehow she ended up here. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Did she dissociate and just . . . walk here? Why on earth would she do that? It was raining (an understatement, it was suddenly downpouring) and it was late. She surely couldn't have spaced out that long. She never spaced out to such an extreme degree. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The brunette pulled herself from her own thoughts as she heard a groan. It was hard to see in the dark, but she could make out a strangely familiar lump laying a few feet in front of her, empty beer cans littered everywhere around it. The smell was atrocious, filling her nostrils with a scent that made her gag. This scenario felt all too familiar, yet she was confused. She should know this. It had to be important.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It was like trying to describe a movie she saw many times as a child, but had a hazy memory of the overall plot and remembered a few small details. Quinn had been here before, she just knew she had been. Though the more she fought to remember, the more her brain pushed the real memory away.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>As if on autopilot, she called through the rain,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Shane?"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Quinn heard another groan, and something that sounded like a hiccup, then a sob. He sounded tired. He wasn't okay. She wanted to move closer, try and console him, but it felt like her feet were cemented to the ground.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"My life. It's a pathetic joke."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Quinn's heart wrenched at the words. He had been drinking so much tonight. The slur in his speech was heavy and prominent, as if he had too much even for himself to handle. She opened her mouth to try and respond, but nothing came out. Unfortunately, the silence didn't last for very long. He started speaking again, the tremble in his tone hard to miss.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Look at me! Why do I even try? I'm too small an' stupid to take control of my life."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It was after Shane said this, the clarity that Quinn had been searching for started to flood back to her. She had definitely been in this position before, they had been in this exact situation. There was no mistaking it. She watched in silence as Shane made an attempt to move, but ultimately decided to give up. He didn't really seem like he put much effort into his movements, but this was obviously not the time or place to nitpick such things.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"I've been coming here lately . . . lookin' down. Here's a chance to finally take control of my life. These cliffs."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>No, no, no, she couldn't do this again. She still couldn't move, couldn't speak. This had to be a dream, right? This couldn't possibly be happening again, not in the same way it happened the first time. Or the many times she dreamt about it on cold, rainy nights. She wished that her body would just work, let her speak! However, all she could only stand like stone and listen to her spouse's words in horror.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"But I'm . . ." He was cut off by a burp, though it didn't sway him from what he was saying. "I'm too scared. Too anxious. Just like always."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Quinn made another attempt to speak. Nothing came out except another smaller, more pitiful sounding, "Shane . . ." Her voice was soft, sounding like it was worlds away as if it didn't even come from her.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Quinn, all I do is work, sleep and drink to dull the feelings of self hatred. Why should I even go on?"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>As he asked that, Shane started to pull himself up off of the ground. His footwork was heavy and clumsy, the slippery grass from the rain probably making it a bit harder than usual to balance. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Tell me why I shouldn't just roll off this cliff right now."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The short woman tried to move again. She wanted to go and hug him, take his hands and pull him away from the cliff. He was so unsteady on his feet, she was terrified he was going to fall over. The next time she tried to speak, it felt like there was something obstructing the way in her throat. She couldn't get anything else out.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>All she could do was stand there and watch Shane sway and stare back at her with pained, unfocused eyes.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>This was awful. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Her silence only seemed to fuel and enable whatever he was thinking. Her silence was telling him that he was right, he had no reason to stick around here. He should just roll off. Her silence was going to be the thing that killed him and it wasn't even in her control.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>That was terrifying. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She couldn't lose him, she couldn't let that happen. Quinn was begging, let her talk to him, please, please, please -</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"See? There's nothin' really for me up here. I know I said I was anxious about the idea of rollin' off before, but tonight I had a couple extra drinks and . . . I dunno. I think I'm feeling a little brave."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Quinn's heart dropped into her stomach. Her vision was starting to tunnel. She could feel her chest tightening, she was starting to heave, yet there still didn't seem like there was enough air. No, please. This wasn't right. He was doing fine last time they spoke, wasn't he? Shane was just saying that he was feeling content with their current life! </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Even if she couldn't talk, or outwardly sob, she still felt tears start to roll down her cheeks as Shane stumbled closer to the edge. She couldn't stop him. This was it, he was going to die. He wasn't going to get to see Jas grow up, he wasn't going to see his chickens anymore, or check up on Emily and Gus at the saloon cause they 'need him to keep the local business going.' </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Just as Shane allowed himself to fall forward, off the cliff, Quinn's vision completely tunneled to black.</em>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Quinn jolted awake, shooting up in bed. It was dark around her, which could only mean that it was still the middle of the night. Her heart was hammering in her chest, much too fast for her liking. She brought one hand up to rest on her chest, using the other to wipe her face once she realized that it was soaked with tears.</p>
<p>Unable to bring herself to move yet, she sat there in the dark, sobbing into her hands as softly as she could. It was hard when all she wanted to do was rip the covers off of the man next to her and make sure he was safe. However, doing that wasn't necessary. It was just a dream, there's nothing to worry about.</p>
<p>Shane was asleep right next to her, and like after every other nightmare she had, she was thankful that his snoring was unmistakable. He was okay. </p>
<p>He was safe.</p>
<p>Those nightmares were just so realistic, it hurt. Quinn's dreams hardly ever made coherent sense, so the ones that aligned perfectly always made her question if she was awake or not. </p>
<p>Eventually checking the time on her phone, the screen read that it was almost four o'clock in the morning. That could have normally given her an extra two hours of sleep before her alarm went off, but she felt too nauseous and anxious to try and sleep again. So she threw off the blankets and stood up. She ignored the wave of dizziness that quickly rushed up to her head, and used her phone flashlight to locate Shane's Jojamart sweatshirt.</p>
<p>Look, it wasn't the most perfect, mint-condition, ideal sweatshirt. It had holes from god knows what, and it had stains that were never going to come out at this point. She couldn't tell you where half of the stains came from, but Shane probably could. Despite this not being the perfect sweatshirt, it was <em>Shane's</em> sweatshirt. That's what made it so safe and comfortable to wear.</p>
<p>Grabbing a lighter blanket, she wrapped it around her shoulders before making her way out into the hallway. She decided to take her breather in the living room, turning the main light on and her phone flashlight off. Quinn didn't want to wake Shane, he didn't need to worry about her and these silly nightmares of hers. How would that have made him feel? She didn't want him to feel at blame for anything. So for now she sat on the couch, found the remote, and turned on the television.</p>
<p>Nothing good was on at this hour, but it was okay. She just needed something to take her mind off of her distressed thoughts.</p>
<p>She wasn't sure how long she'd been watching television. At some point she spaced out, but focused back when she heard shuffling behind the couch. Her gaze stayed fixed on the screen in front of her, not wanting to look directly at Shane and have him see that she had been crying not too long ago.</p>
<p>The kitchen light turned on, and she glanced over quickly to watch him rummage through the fridge. Quinn hoped that she didn't have to worry. It was too late for a beer or a Joja Cola. He must've caught her concerned stare before she looked away, because he made his way over and sat down next to her on the couch. As he sat, he let out a quiet, <em>buh. </em>Something about it never failed to make her smile just a little bit.</p>
<p>"Just got a water. Woke up and my throat was dry," he explained, which Quinn didn't find hard to believe. Summertime in their room specifically was always a bit of a nightmare when the air conditioning didn't work. If it wasn't a sweaty kind of hot, then it was just dry, and Quinn also sometimes found herself waking up with dry throats.</p>
<p>"The room get too hot again?"</p>
<p>"Mhm. Hopefully I can get the air conditioner working again tomorrow. Why're you up?"</p>
<p>There was the question. Inevitable and unavoidable. She couldn't just brush it off, or use chores an excuse to change the topic. So she decided to reply simply, "I just, um, couldn't sleep. That's all."</p>
<p>If there was anything Quinn was bad at, it was lying. Thankfully she wasn't exactly lying here, but the tone of her voice was a bit unconvincing, like there was more to it than "I couldn't sleep." However, Shane wasn't the kind of guy to push topics. He himself tended to dislike when people forced his issues out of him, so he wasn't about to go and be a massive hypocrite and do exactly that.</p>
<p>Instead he took a sip of his water and asked, "was it too hot for you too?"</p>
<p>There was a moment of silence before she replied, "sort of. It wasn't the heat that woke me up, but it was part of what kept me up." </p>
<p>Her tone shifted to try and sound a bit more lighthearted, almost joking. She had to remind herself to not let him worry too much. Now that they were both up, it was much too late for that.</p>
<p>What Quinn didn't consider was how her last response was phrased, and Shane took the opportunity to add onto the conversation.</p>
<p>"What woke you up then if it wasn't the heat? Did you have a bad snack before bed? Heard from Gus that food can give you odd dreams and stuff. Our bodies are weird." As Shane once mentioned, they were just random squishy bags of flesh, and that was a tad weird to think about!</p>
<p>Quinn knew that she wouldn't be able to completely lie her way out of this, so she decided to perhaps just, tiptoe around the topic of what her bad dream was. She knew Shane wasn't the type to press on a matter. So it would be easy to not get into it.</p>
<p>"Um, I didn't really have any snacks? But I did have a weird dream. Not really . . . a nice one." </p>
<p>"A not nice, weird dream" was obviously an understatement, but Quinn was an expert at beating around the bush and sugarcoating. It wasn't something she was all that proud of.</p>
<p>Any tension she may have felt seemed to fade a bit when he asked, "do you wanna talk about it?"</p>
<p>And when she declined, dropping her head gently onto his arm, he didn't push it. He instead just moved his arm around her shoulders so her head rested more on his chest. Sometimes talking about things in the moment made it worse, so it was nice to just be with someone and sit in comfortable silence.</p>
<p>Being able to cuddle up on the couch like this after a nightmare felt like some weight was lifted off of her.</p>
<p>Being able to physically feel him, hear him talk, it was the most reassuring thing in the world.</p>
<p>Shane wasn't an oblivious man. He knew something was up. It would just be up to Quinn to finally come forward and talk about them whenever she was ready. Despite knowing this, it surprised her just a bit when he finally broke their comfy silence about half an hour later.</p>
<p>"Don't worry too much about getting up on time, alright? I'll make sure I'm still up to feed all the animals and water the crops. But after that, let's just have a lazy day, yeah?" He offered, giving a tired but reassuring smile. "We can't all work out butts off every single day. You need a break."</p>
<p>Quinn, though hesitant to accept having a lazy day, knew he was right. She was up almost every morning, 6 am on the dot, even if she hadn't slept much, and worked. Feeding the farm animals, watering and harvesting the crops, making sure their cat had food and water, it wasn't too crazy of work.</p>
<p>That is, until you added her need to help every single person in town with <em>their</em> errands and chores. Quinn was always checking the bulletin board outside of Pierre's to see if anyone needed anything. If someone needed something delivered, she was on it. She managed to keep up with everyone's birthdays and have gifts for them at the ready. She loved being helpful, and feeling useful.</p>
<p>As much as she loved being there for everyone, the burnout was obviously going to catch up to her on occasion. So perhaps this lazy day wouldn't be such a bad idea in general. Burnout and nightmare recovery? Honestly the extra rest didn't sound too bad. She nodded gently in agreement, covering her mouth as a yawn slipped by. "Yeah, that sounds nice."</p>
<p>A few more moments of silence passed by them, Quinn's head resting contently on his chest as she could feel herself start to slowly nod off again.</p>
<p>She wasn't as afraid now, though.</p>
<p>He was here, holding her close, and didn't even smell like alcohol. It was these small things that reassured her that things were okay. It was just a bad dream. No matter how many times it came to get her, she knew she'd wake up and he'd be right there by her side. It would be okay.</p>
<p>However, maybe she'd make a mental note to talk to Harvey. Maybe it would do her some good to find a professional to talk to. That man was no therapist, but he seemed to have connections.</p>
<p>She wasn't even awake enough to hear his response after she murmured out a quiet, "I love you, Shane."</p>
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